Letting go of your best, most cherished ideas can be a tough call; but can hoarding all of the creative gems of the past make it more cumbersome (physically and mentally) to pursue what's truly right for you now? Your Chaotic Creative gals, Lauren and Rachael, delve into what fabric scraps and 10 lbs of Almonds taught them about creative capacity; and why taking inventory of your creative pursuits may be an essential practice for alleviating overwhelm.
Letting go of your best, most cherished ideas can be a tough call; but can hoarding all of the creative gems of the past make it more cumbersome (physically and mentally) to pursue what's truly right for you now? Your Chaotic Creative gals, Lauren and Rachael, delve into what fabric scraps and 10 lbs of Almonds taught them about creative capacity; and why taking inventory of your creative pursuits may be an essential practice for alleviating overwhelm.
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The transcript for this episode can be found here!
Rachael: Welcome to Chaotic Creatives, a show about embracing the chaos that comes with living a creative life.
Lauren: We're your hosts, two self-proclaimed chaotic creative gals. I'm Lauren Hom, better known as Hom Sweet Hom on the internet. I am a designer, letterer, muralist, and all-around crafty gal who also just graduated from culinary school.
Rachael: And I'm Rachel, also known as Rachel Renae, your internet hype gal. And I like to use color and play to encourage folks to live a more creative and fulfilling life.
Lauren: Wonderful.
Rachael: Yay.
Lauren: What are we here to talk about today?
Rachael: Oh, we got a lot of topics to talk about today, but I think we should start with the brain space and unfinished projects. What, if any, reflection practices do you use, and know when it's time to give up on a project, or shift gears. Or how long do you keep unfinished projects going?
Lauren: Whew!
Rachael: That's like 10 questions in one.
Lauren: Great. Amazing. Starting off with the hard-hitting questions.
Rachael: Pick your faves.
Lauren: Well, we've been talking about spring, first day of spring was like a couple of days ago, spring-cleaning, and how chaotic creatives almost always are hoarders of art supplies, stuff. But we never really think about it, I rarely think about it in the mental/emotional realm of holding onto things. So for me, I really go off of feel, because you sometimes get a spurt of energy too, to do something, and I definitely hold on to physical art supplies for far too long.
With, we were talking about this before we started rolling, but with ideas, there's so many ways to think about it, because they technically don't go bad. It's not like paint that can get dried up in a tube, but historically there has been a golden window of action for me.
When I was younger, I would just do it right away. If I had the idea, I would clear my schedule and just do it. But now, as I've accumulated over the last decade, more and more interests, and more and more hobbies, and more and more stuff, I think it's harder to filter through those. And lately I've been in this pit of having so many Pinterest boards saved, and things saved on Instagram, but not making anything, just spending the morning thinking about what I'm going to make, and then feeling so overwhelmed, that by the time the afternoon rolled around I'm just like, "Well, I'll do it tomorrow."
Rachael: Totally.
Lauren: So I don't really have an answer.
Rachael: And I think it's really interesting, because that is one thing I think we talked about in a previous episode that my audience has said to me is, "I feel overwhelmed and don't know how to take action." Because I think what we tend to do is feel like we need to have a plan, like "I need this quilt to look like this totally. I need this vision to be executed in this way, and I don't know how to get there, so I'm not going to take any steps." And I feel like imperfect action, in so many facets of life, whether it's activism, creativity, communication with the people that you love, imperfect action is still helping you learn and making progress toward the goal of ultimately doing the thing. And I think by letting ourselves hoard these ideas and these supplies, are we inhibiting ourselves? Are we taking up too much physical and mental space to be able to come up with new and fresh ideas?
And I am very much the same as you. I have a million art supplies. We talked about seed beads earlier from my earring making class that I took probably five years ago and haven't touched. And it's like, maybe it's time to give some of those supplies to someone else so that someone else can be inspired by them, and then that will also clear physical space for me, and mental space.
And I am saying the mental space thing, I am reading this book right now, I just finished it this morning called, The Hundred Ways to Change Your Life by Liz Moody, and she's talking about offloading all the things that we're just holding onto in our brains, and how if we can get it out, we aren't wasting mental energy holding it there so that we don't forget. Like, "Oh, I need this to-do list item." Nope. Get it out of your brain. Put it down. Which is also a tactic that my therapist has recommended for ADHD folks. So it's hitting a lot of topics that I'm reading and learning about in my life right now.
Lauren: I get that, because I always... When I was younger, I used to think that if I got five $500 client projects, it would be the same as getting one $2,500 client project, but the mental load of having to communicate with and have admin for five different clients is so heavy, even though the money you're getting at the end of the day is the same.
Rachael: Totally.
Lauren: So it's weird, though, because with non-commercial work, if there's not money attached, it's easier for me to hoard and to keep things messy. Whereas with business and work, it's a lot more cut and dry, because the point... I think because the intention so much clearer, like this is a professional agreement, I'm here to deliver this specific thing. But with personal projects and hobbies and your own exploration, the boundlessness of it, I find myself getting overwhelmed with quite often.
And even though I know that I can just have one focus at a time to get anything done, even if you're just cooking a new recipe, you need to focus on that recipe. But I'm the kind of person who will start three things at once and try to time it. It's like, "Okay, I'll let the bread rest and while the bread is resting, I'll start the other thing." Even though I didn't need to start the other thing.
Rachael: And I wonder... That's a tried and true indicator of a chaotic creative.
Lauren: It's an optimistic, creative multitasking,
Rachael: Totally. Aspirational multitasking. And I think... I find myself... I'm just thinking about this now that we're talking about it. Do I need to actually let some things go? Because I really enjoy the ebb and flow of how my interests change, even throughout the seasons. I am trying to track like, "Oh, I really tend to quilting when it's quite a bit darker for longer, because then I don't feel guilty about being in the basement, which is where my quilting..."
Lauren: It matches the actual physical world.
Rachael: I'm not ignoring the sunshine and being outside by being in the basement, which I'm trying to get over that feeling guilty. If I want to be inside in the basement on a sunny day, that's okay, too.
Lauren: As long as you're choosing to be in the basement.
Rachael: But I think... I love thinking about this, especially spring-cleaning time. Is it time to just truly let some things go so that I can clear out my brain and give space for new inspiration, to actually look at those Pinterest boards and take action? I feel like...
Another thing I read recently is the solution to anxiety, or overwhelm in this solution, is action. We have to start. And it's the advice that everyone gives, even if you're starting a creative business, if you're doing something and it's the worst advice to receive, because you're like, "I know I have to start." But that's the answer. It's the only way to learn.
Lauren: I think we can intellectually know what to do, and think that's enough, and that's going to be enough to get us to do it. But I think emotionally as sensitive creative people, I usually find that I have to get there emotionally in order to do it as well.
Rachael: Absolutely.
Lauren: We're not as rational as we think we are.
Rachael: And there should be no shame in understanding that that's how our creative process works.
I just talked about this today on the internet. I painted my bedroom over the course of several weeks, when I had the energy and the inspiration to do it. I didn't do any prep. I should have, should have, but...
Lauren: The stakes were low, though. It's your bedroom.
Rachael: The stakes were low. Exactly. And so I feel like these hobbies, the stakes are low. So instead of just hoarding all of these ideas and supplies, maybe it's just time to carve out 10 minutes to do it even if it's not good.
Lauren: Totally, and I'm sure you're happy with the way the room looks.
Rachael: I am. I'm so happy. It's very imperfect and I don't care.
Lauren: I think it's a lot about... I often hoard ideas and physical objects, because I definitely inherited this from my grandma. There's that mentality of, "But I could use it later. I might need it later." And it's almost like you think that by holding onto it'll be helpful in the future, but I never asked myself, "It could be helpful in 10 years to have this stack of washed out yogurt cups for paint containers, but is it hurting me now? And are these washed out yogurt containers? Are they really necessary now? I'm going to eat more yogurt in my life."
Rachael: Or are they a physical representation of the clutter in your brain?
Lauren: Oh my gosh!
Because with physical clutter, I think it's a lot easier to realize when you're at capacity. There's only so much you could fit in your closet, on your table. I'm a big surfaces gal. You give me a surface, I will fill it, and because I live alone, I will not clean it up. I'll just work around it.
Rachael: Amazing.
Lauren: But with the internet, like Pinterest boards, or saved folders on Instagram notes, on your Notes app, it's infinite. Same with we think our brain space is infinite, but it's not.
Rachael: It's not.
Lauren: And so, oftentimes I don't really think about my intangible clutter, but it definitely does slow you down, because the more of it that piles up, the more guilty I often feel for not doing it. It's like, "Oh, there's more to do and I'm still not doing it."
And I was going to bring up the fact that before we started recording, we were talking about how currently the supply that I have a lot of that's holding me back creatively is when my... This going to sound so wild for anyone just hearing about this now. You've been hearing about it for a long time.
Rachael: Oh, yeah. I've known you as long as you've had this quantity.
Lauren: I recently, in the last year, exited a long-term relationship and I had bulk bought a lot of our dry goods. So I, in our non-divorce, divorce, we split up our stuff, and I inherited the 10 pounds of almonds that we bought.
Rachael: Here's the thing. Okay, I want you to finish your thought, but also it's just two people. That's still an absurd amount of almonds to use for two people. Feel like it happened because, "I only have this much because I exited this relationship." That's still an insane amount and I love it.
Lauren: My friend Andre, he saw the amount of almonds and he was like, "That's got to be like a thousand dollars of almonds." And I was like, "No, it was like $50 of almonds." It wasn't that crazy.
Rachael: It was a steal.
Lauren: Because when you buy in bulk you save money.
Rachael: But you're limiting your creative potential.
Lauren: Or you end up... There were some things that I bought bulk that.. So dried apricots, for example, I bought them in bulk because my ex-partner really liked them, but what I didn't realize is even though they're dried, because they're still moist, they go bad faster. So we weren't able to eat all of them, so there was some waste. But then those actually go bad and you have to get rid of them. Whereas our supplies don't go bad. Maybe paints will dry up, but these almonds, because I have them, I know I could just compost them, or donate them to friends, find 10 people to each take a pound of almonds, which is a lot more reasonable. But lately I've been just cooking almond things, almond milk, I've been making almond cheeses, almond meal crackers, almond cookies, roasted almonds.
And it's not like I'm passionate about almonds. I just feel like, "Oh, I got to use these up." When you mentioned you held up a mirror for me, you were like, "But would you be doing almond things if you didn't have me the almonds?" And I know my immediate answer is no, but I just feel like I need to use them up.
Rachael: So it's a constraint that is limiting, whereas...
Lauren: It's not an exciting constraint. We were just talking about, too. There are fun constraints that you choose that you're like, "This is great and this is helpful." But I'm not sure this almond constraint is helpful for me anymore.
Rachael: Because it's gone past the excitement of trying new things. You've reached the capacity of what you can do with this.
Lauren: Well, because also I'm now thinking I bought those almonds with the intention and for the purpose of making almond things for me and my ex, and now that I'm no longer in that relationship, the almonds have been detached from that previous purpose. I don't think I'd buy all those almonds on my own. It was a different time, too. I was really into more making all my things homemade, and because I thought we were going to be together for a long time, I was like, "I'll just get the biggest thing of almonds. This makes sense to me. We will save money because nuts are expensive." But now I have all these almonds and they don't go bad if you keep them in the fridge or in a cool place, but I'm no longer excited by these almonds, because I'm in a different stage of my life.
Rachael: And also there's an emotional tie to that relationship from, not that it ended poorly or anything, but you're still... There's the connotation there.
Lauren: Oh I know we're meaning-making creatures. I think particularly creative people get attached to stories. For some reason, and I've been thinking about if this is actually helpful, I feel part of my grieving process is using up all these almonds. In some symbolic way I will be healed once all of these almonds have been processed instead of just thrown away. I don't know.
Rachael: It's so interesting how certain things matter to certain people, too, because I have absolutely no emotional ties to food, other than I love to eat it, but I have no qualms about getting rid of stuff if it's been in the pantry for too long.
But, I save all of my fabric scraps from sewing, and I feel like it's the same situation where I'll go in the basement, and I like to do ad-lib, intuitive quilting where I'm piecing things together and not really following a pattern. But, when I go to decide to make a pattern, or I'm looking through my quilting books, and trying to make a plan, because I'm inspired by some colors I have or something, I always start with this scrap pile and I'm like, "Well, what can I use this for? What can I use this for?" And then a lot of times I get frustrated because I can't immediately see a plan, because this scrap pile is sitting there taunting me. "You should use us first before you cut into new fabric!"
Lauren: Like your entry point being the scrap pile is holding you back.
Rachael: Yeah, which I could just move the scrap pile, but in my head, I know that it is there and I feel guilty cutting into fresh fabric, even though it's not like the fabric scraps are going to go bad, but I do think it perhaps is inhibiting my creative process
Lauren: You're sustainability-minded as well, and so it's the reuse part of the reduce, reuse, recycle.
Rachael: And I know I can reuse it as stuffing inside of a cushion or something like that, but I feel bad throwing... Or getting rid of, it's not even throwing away, using it using a decent chunk of a fabric if it's not for a quilt. And I have fabrics, now that you're saying the almond thing, I'm reminded of...
Lauren: What are your almonds?
Rachael: It's fabric for sure.
I learned how to quilt in middle school home EC class. And then I remember my first summer home from college, so I would've been 18. I remember buying some fabrics and I had these sheets from Urban Outfitters.
Lauren: Hell yeah.
Rachael: Of course that were neon pink print for my dorm-size bed, which I was never going to have a dorm-size bed again. And I was like...
Lauren: The extra long twin or something.
Rachael: And I was like, "I have to find a use for this fabric." And I was like, "Okay, I'm going to make a quilt." And I bought a bunch of fabrics, and I just ad-lib quilted. And I remember watching this one TV show in the basement at my parent's house while I was making this quilt, and I never finished it. I still have that sheet. And I graduated college so many years ago, but I still have that fabric, and I have this yellow and pink pattern fabric that I don't like anymore. I should just get rid of it. Why am I holding onto that? I'm like, "Maybe I'll use it for some kind of pink project." I'm not going to. And it's still taunting me every time I go into the basement and try to plan something out. It's just not my style anymore.
And it also reminded me of something else that we were talking about before we started recording, of thinking about the timelines of projects for me, and I want you to answer this question as well. Are there projects that you've had the idea for, and then you set aside, and then you came back to after you noodled on it, and it was better? Because I feel like I set projects aside and if I don't act on them in a certain amount of time, I lose inspiration on it. And maybe losing inspiration means that it wasn't the best idea in the first place, or it's evolved into something that's even better.
But, I'm thinking about this art show that I really wanted to do, and I had all these ideas, and I've never had an art show. I don't have any fine art training. I don't know how it all works, but I was like, "This is going to be so good. It's going to be interactive." And I wrote all this stuff down, and that was a couple of years ago, and that idea doesn't inspire me anymore. And so I don't think that's something I'll pursue. But I remember feeling so jazzed and fulfilled by planning this.
Do you have anything that's similar to that, that you've actually let go?
Lauren: Ooh, that I've let go?
Rachael: We're sensing a theme.
I feel like the art show idea, even though I just said letting it go, it's still on my Notes app. I still think about it and how it can actually apply to what I care about and what I'm working on right now.
Lauren: Do you feel like it's still simmering though?
Rachael: Maybe it is.
Lauren: You're still maybe curious about that? Because there are some things where I think you were saying you don't know until you try. And the barrier to entry for some things, like if I want to try any recipe, I know that's not a week-long commitment. Whereas with a creative practice like ceramics for example, you got to do it for a little bit to really get a feel for it. Or like you said about the bead earring class that you took. And I think a class is a great way to dip your toes in a low-stakes way to try it out.
But I think there are just some things, it's like with dating, you can be really excited about someone, but it's not the right time. You're busy with other stuff. You can really only have so many things to focus on at once before you're doing all of them half-assed. And I do think that our priorities naturally find their place depending on what is the most urgent or what you're actually the most drawn towards. Some things need a couple dates to know, some things need only one to know, and I think that's just like it is what it is.
Rachael: I think tying that back to what you said at the beginning where you said when you were younger you just had an idea and executed it.
Lauren: Totally.
Rachael: I think as we get older, of course, we have a better understanding of ourselves and what our values are. And so for me, when I was young and had a lot of energy and time, I didn't have super deep friendships that I was interested in maintaining. I had surface level, 20-year-old friendships where we...
Lauren: Whoo!
Rachael: Exactly.
But I had so much time I went to work, and then I came home, and I just worked on my little projects. I didn't care about connecting with community. I didn't care as much about social issues and learning about them. I didn't really care about personal growth. I had an incredible metabolism so I didn't really care about if I had to eat takeout every night. I loved it.
And now I'm like, "Okay, I'm in touch with my body more so I'm prioritizing better food, movement, my relationships..."
Lauren: Sleep.
Rachael: "Being a part of a community, sleep." Absolutely. And so like you said, the priorities change, the values change, and I think in some cases as people get older, those responsibilities, or things that we feel like we need to care about, take over and don't allow that creative practice to still be maintained.
Lauren: So the chaotic, the true, young chaotic creative process that we established, but then coupled with the new, in-your-thirties pace and responsibilities and other things being important, that is a painful thing to grapple with, for sure, because you still the appetite of your twenties.
Rachael: Totally.
And you and I are in our thirties, and we're single, and we don't have children, and we don't have aging parents that we're taking care of yet, for example.
Lauren: We're fairly unburdened.
Rachael: And so it's easier for us to sit here and talk about, "Just do it! Just make time." But I also think that it is truly important for people, no matter how many people you're responsible for, or the responsibilities of your life, everybody has five minutes to scroll on their phone, take that five minutes and do something for yourself. Do something creative, whether that's making almond cheese, which I think probably takes longer than five minutes, or doodling, or looking up a class that you could take on a weekend with someone. Connect while you do a creative activity. I think it just takes more intention.
But if you're overwhelmed, like we tend to be with all of the ideas, how do you move into action? Or when do you know it's the right time? We've also been talking about the timing of projects and you referenced a project that has been sitting in the closet for four years.
Lauren: It's like a piece of clothing in your closet that moves with you from apartment to apartment that you just never wear. I think we all on our own time reach a point where you're like, "This needs to go." Whether it's no longer your style anymore, no longer aligned with your interests or values.
The project you're referencing. When I first got into papier-mâché, paper clay, so I was making this art supply papier-mâché holder, and I really don't know why, I just put it down and then never picked it back up. And I've moved it around my studio thinking I'm going to start it again. I have all the supplies, I just haven't. But because I spent so long getting it to the stage it's at, I can't bring myself to throw it away, so it's currently in the closet, which honestly, now that I'm saying this out loud, the fact that it's now out of sight probably means it needs to go.
Rachael: Okay, what you're saying is reminding me so much of what I call the "purgatory basket" for cleaning out my closet, and this is not a plug, but it's going to be one. I have a free closet cleanup guide.
Lauren: Hell yeah. Plug it.
Rachael: And you can get it on my website, and it's a video of me walking through how my process for cleaning up my closet. Because as an enthusiastic style gal, and a chaotic creative that gets emotionally attached to things, sometimes I hang on to things for way too long. Now, I have a lot of space. I have really big closets, and I don't share them with anyone. So it's easy for me to hang on to things that aren't serving me anymore.
But, I know that I would rather have those things be active parts of someone else's wardrobe, and you and I are both a big proponent of secondhand fashion, and giving things a new life. So I walk through my process in the video, and I'll do a better job in the video than I will right now, but I have a basket in my closet that I call the Purgatory Basket. And every once in a while, generally seasonally, I'll go through my closet and be like, "Okay, I haven't worn this. I haven't reached for this. This color's not inspiring me anymore." And I put it in the basket. And then after a certain amount of time, whether it's another season or a year, I revisit what's in the basket. If I didn't think about it and I wasn't missing it's time to let it go. And then I'll usually schedule a closet sale, or go do a donation, or do a clothing swap, or something like that.
But there have been times that I've gone back and dug stuff out. So I think we do revisit things that maybe inspired us once and could again, but having things out of sight, and then not thinking about them, maybe that is a good indicator that we could move on and make space. I'm trying to shift my mindset, just from this conversation, so in the last hour, I'm trying to shift my mindset.
Lauren: You're a changed woman?
Rachael: Changed a woman.
About, it's not that I'm abandoning a project, it's that I'm clearing space for something more inspiring and fulfilling instead.
Lauren: What was that excerpt from Big Magic that you were talking about, about when you let go of an idea or you don't do an idea, it's not a bad thing? She talks about how when you have an idea for something, but you don't do it, and there's this thing that happens where a year later, let's say she had a book idea, and then she sees someone else writing the book. It's easy to be like, "Oh, it was mine first!"
Rachael: I missed my chance!
Lauren: But in reality, she says, maybe this is a spiritual creative thing. If an idea taps you on the shoulder, and you don't accept it as your action now, it will find someone else to be channeled through, which I think is a really beautiful way...
Rachael: Absolutely.
Lauren: To put it. And it's not a bad thing. You are capable of being in contact with so many other ideas. It's so much about timing, I think. And I'm saying this to you and to everyone listening out loud, it's a lot easier for me to dish this out than to actually...
Rachael: Always. We have all of this insight, but how often do we actually put it into practice? I think us talking about it with each other and the folks listening, who I hope are enthusiastically nodding along while they're cleaning their house, or making a project.
Lauren: This reminds me of something that I think I was telling Crystal the other day. I think I saw this as a tip on my friend Claire EC Instagram. She does business coaching. She was talking about how if you were the person who lets your inbox pile up, your email inbox pile up, and you have emails that you haven't answered, it's been one month, two months, six months, whatever it may be, but you see that number every day going up, her advice was to just delete it. Delete all those emails, and if it's really important, you will reach out to that person again eventually, or they will reach out to you.
And I really love that in theory. I'm hesitant to do it myself because I have that thing about me that I'm like, "But I either will get to it or I want record of it." But in reality, when that number keeps going up, I'm sure mine is in the thousands by now, it makes it worse.
Rachael: Sure.
That's not a thing that I do. I am inbox zero, or at least read. They're not all gone. The applicable ones are still in the inbox, but I don't have unread emails and maybe that's...
Lauren: Amazing.
Rachael: Not necessarily helpful, though, that I'm always checking my email and bouncing my brain capacity all over the place. But I like that idea and I hope that you get to implement it.
Lauren: I think it goes back to just asking yourself, "Is this helpful?" Is having your scrap basket helpful? Are my almonds helpful? And the more I've been talking about this over the last month, I'm realizing it's not, which is why I'm actually trying to give them away. I offered your friend Morgan some almonds the other day. I just don't want to be the weirdo who's like, "Hi, I'm Lauren. Do you want some almonds?"
Rachael: I think I would be great. I would imagine you meeting new people out at an art show and you just, instead of shaking someone's hand, they put their hand out, and you reach in your pocket, and you hand them the almonds like you're an old man.
Lauren: Actually, this actually happened a couple of weeks ago. Crystal and I went to the rally downtown for Palestine, and she was like, "Oh, I haven't eaten lunch yet." Because I asked her, she was driving, and I was like, "We can go whenever you want." And she's like, "I am getting hungry." And I pull out a bag of almonds from my pocket. I was like, "In case I get hungry, I should have something." And I didn't get hungry, but I was so happy to have been able.
Rachael: What popped into my head when you just described that situation is the mom that doesn't let their kids get popcorn or a slushier at the movie theater. It's like, "We packed almonds from home and that's what you're going to eat at the movie."
Lauren: Am I an almond mom?
Rachael: You're an almond mom. No, I would never, I don't know even what that means, but that's not how I'm going to describe you.
Lauren: Thank you.
Rachael: If anything, you're an almond giver, sharing the bulk. Abundance of almonds.
Lauren: I bulk bought it with the intention of like, "I'm going to go through all these," but then the circumstances changed.
Rachael: Totally.
Lauren: And I think one thing I have to remind myself of is I can always get more almonds later, even if I gave them all away, like with art supplies, with clothes, anything, even with ideas, anything that we're holding onto and hoarding we can always... Most of the time we can tap back into that or just acquire it again when we're actually ready.
Rachael: And I think naturally, especially with ideas, they will come back. Instead of holding on so tightly and using all of this emotional and mental energy to hang onto this thing, even though it's not the right time to work on it, if we can truly let it go or write it down, put it in a Google Doc. You don't have to...
Lauren: Put it in your pile.
Rachael: You put it in your pile.
Lauren: I'm pointing to a pile of papers that I have on my table right now of just ideas and things I've written down over the years. Put it in the pile!
Rachael: I think if we can just get it out of our brains and understand that if it inspired us once, it will likely inspire us again. And maybe we'll be able to execute it, actually, in a better way with more experience or a different perspective, because we tried a new skill or something like that. And I think that ties my train of thought, as I'm saying it out loud, to something that we talked about a little bit earlier about letting ideas rest. And you pointing to the pile reminded me of your bread rest. Bread rest. You could do a pun with that. "I'm on bread rest."
Lauren: Oh, like bed rest!
Rachael: Yeah!
Lauren: Does that mean I was harmed?
Rachael: No, I think it just means that you're in your bread time.
Lauren: I see.
Rachael: I want to be on bread rest, aka lay on the couch all weekend and eat bread.
Lauren: This was the original concept we were noodling on for this conversation was as a chaotic creative with the eyes are bigger than your stomach energy, putting too much on your plate. I think there's a desire that I have to always be making something. It's like the creative gal version of always be selling, or it's just like I feel the urge to be tinkering at all times, multitasking. And oftentimes that can get overwhelming. And we likened this back to the concept of there are plenty of things that we know, if we want to achieve the goal, need to rest.
So making bread dough, letting the dough rest, it will not rise unless you let it rest. You can't keep working it. You literally push the gas out of the dough if you keep kneading it, and then you'll just have a dense little lump. But even with baking, I think the analogy that you had told me was it's like baking a cake. You put it in the oven, and you don't keep opening the oven to check if it's done, otherwise you let all the heat out. So there are things in our real, tangible lives that we understand that. But I, whether it's hubris or optimism, oftentimes think I can do a lot more creatively and cognitively than I actually am physically capable.
Rachael: Well, when I told you that analogy, you were like, "Well, that's why we cheat with the oven door and the oven light." So you find your creative ways to work around it.
Lauren: The oven light is there so you can check on it without releasing the heat.
Rachael: So what's our version of that, creatively? How do you check on something without releasing the heat? I think it's understanding and accepting that maybe this isn't a project for right now and it's a project for another time and instead of holding onto it so tightly, letting that sit, rest, rise, bake.
Lauren: I think you learn by trial and error as you do with cooking and stuff, where you have to get to know your own tendencies and patterns, and if you are holding on so tightly to an idea, or hammering away at it and it's not feeling good anymore, or it's not in the place where you want it, you can put it aside.
Rachael: Totally.
Lauren: And even if you never touch it again, it wasn't a waste.
Rachael: You learn something and forcing it isn't going to get you anywhere.
Lauren: And in terms of letting things rest, too, giving yourself space, I think oftentimes if I'm really struggling with a project or it's feeling hard, switching my brain to something else is helpful, because that's just giving it a rest from that specific topic.
Rachael: Totally.
Lauren: And then if I don't return to it, then like you were saying, maybe it's not meant to be, maybe it's just not the right time. There's such a creative pain when you have a great idea, but it's just not the right time, that you could be in a really busy season of life, and write down or sketch out an idea for something, and the fact that you do not have the capacity to make it is so painful. But it is just part of...
Rachael: To tie it back to dating again, I've had that experience where I have gone on dates with people that are incredible, and they're pursuing their passions, and I'm pursuing mine, and we just don't have capacity to prioritize each other.
And it's not that either of us are bad people, or that we're not interested in each other, it's just...
Lauren: Or compatible, you could be totally compatible.
Rachael: Absolutely.
Lauren: Just not in this season of life.
Rachael: And it's hard to accept, because nothing is wrong. And that, I think the same thing can be said about a creative project. Maybe you didn't burn your bread, but... Bread isn't a good analogy in this situation. I should not be doing the cooking analogies. That's what we've learned here today.
But I'm going to change the subject completely to an analogy that does work for me.
Lauren: Yes, please.
Rachael: So I recently painted my bedroom, as you know, and while you were talking about sitting with an idea, it reminded me that I do this a lot with my home and my interior design. I do things very slowly, because I like to sit in the room and envision, "What do I want this space to look like?" And I do use Pinterest a lot for ideas of color ways and how rooms are laid out. And I've done this a lot with my bedroom. It's gone through many, many iterations. And one thing I think that we haven't necessarily touched on, and maybe it's not appropriate for this conversation, but we love to follow the winding path of the convo, is that I find that if I have a really rigid vision, and I have the energy to do the project, if I try to get all the way to that rigid vision, I really burn myself out on a project.
And so, one thing that I'm trying to do lately with my house specifically is like, okay, I have five minutes, maybe not five, let's say a half hour.
Lauren: 300 seconds.
Rachael: I have 300 seconds to get this painting done. But you could take the light switch covers off in that five minutes.
Lauren: You're acknowledging your capacity and then basing your action off of your capacity.
Rachael: Totally.
I do it a lot during the workday, too. If a meeting ends early and I have 15 minutes before my next meeting, I want to get up and stretch and get a snack or whatever.
Lauren: Throw a load of laundry in.
Rachael: Ooh, we love to use laundry as a dis tractor. And that's another thing is like, "Ooh, what are the distractors in your life?" Because laundry is definitely one for me, or cleaning. I am also a surface gal, that I like to clean up the surfaces and I feel like I will almost always think like, "Okay, I can't start this creative project until the house is clean." And I'm, again, trying to get out of that mindset of...
Lauren: But you're saying if a meeting ends early, then you will get up and do something.
Rachael: Yeah. So sometimes it's throwing a load of laundry in, but if I'm working on something, if I'm really jazzed about a sewing project... Sewing is so great, and we talked about this the other night at dinner, you can stop whenever and just pretty quickly pick back up. And there are a lot of different steps in making a quilt and a garment that are good stopping points, but you don't have to stop there.
So sometimes if I have 10 minutes, I'll go run downstairs and sew a few blocks together, and you actually get so much further than you think. I had 20 minutes the other day, and I sewed nine blocks together, and ironed it, and finished a huge section of my quilt, and it felt really good, and it was just the reminder I needed that you can do a lot in 20 minutes. And you also don't have to start a project and finish it in one go, which is a hard thing for me to grapple with, because I want to hyper fixate, abandon everything, and just do a project for 10 hours.
Lauren: Because it's not really realistic for a lot of us to be able to sit down and finish a project from start to finish in one session. And I think acknowledging the limitations of your bandwidth for the day, not like... Well, okay, as a freelancer, this is where it's a pitfall for me, because sometimes if I don't have meetings or deadlines, I can clear my day, and hyper fixate, and really go in, but that is rare I would say. I completely lost my train of thought. I had something insightful to say.
Rachael: We'll save it for next time. I think the summary of today's talk is just like, are we holding onto too much? Are we... Whether that's physically or emotionally with ideas, it's okay to let ideas simmer and evolve in our brains, but maybe there is a good reflection practice that we could think about to like, "Am I ever actually going to get back to this? Or can I clear this space?
Lauren: Zooming out a little bit and taking stock or inventory of what's going on because... Oh, yeah, that's what I was going to say. Oftentimes it's easy to be if you only have 15 minutes, 10 minutes, you're like, "Well, I can't get in. I can't do the full project, so I may as well not do it at all." But then you have all those increments of time that are going by the wayside. I think making it a little bit lower stakes for yourself, whether it is, again, recognizing your capacity and being like, "Okay, I'll nudge this along. And all I'm expecting of myself is the nudge."
Because if we set the bar at completion, it is a daunting bar and you'll probably never reach it. And sometimes for me, too, when I have that backlog of ideas, things I want to make, and I'm stuck in inaction, I will choose... Sometimes you need a quick win, and if you only have an hour or two that weekend, you're probably not building a kitchen table. That project is not getting done in the time you have between your kids' soccer practice and your in-laws coming over for dinner.
Rachael: Totally.
Lauren: But if you know have two hours instead of, again, biting off more than you can chew like a kitchen table project, you could do something small. What on your list can actually get done in those two hours?
Oftentimes when I don't have the time to set up, or start, or nudge along a bigger creative project, I will look for a recipe that I wanted to try. I've been wanting to make butter cookies, those pipeable ones, since November, and I just made them two weeks ago. It's been on my list, but I finally had the right time aligned. It was a weekend, and I got one thing off of my creative list, and it felt really good. Because oftentimes completing that one creative task, or getting that satisfaction of, "I did do it from start to finish," because it was a smaller bite, is enough to get me motivated of like, well, I can tackle something else on that list.
It is a domino effect. Whereas the longer I wait, we've talked about this so much, the longer you wait, the antithesis for the solution to anxiety is action.
Rachael: Truly.
Lauren: And if that sounds daunting or bullshit advice, because you're like, "Duh, I know." Do the smallest thing.
Rachael: Smallest thing, absolutely.
Lauren: Smallest thing.
Rachael: And this is why I make these playlists of things, because sometimes you have those two hours and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I have a million ideas. What could I possibly do?"
Lauren: I'm going to think about what I want to do for 90 minutes and only have 30 minutes left.
Rachael: And then I'm going to panic and shame myself into thinking I didn't get anything done.
So I make these playlists, which are just literally to-do lists, of only play activities.
Lauren: Love it.
Rachael: And you could do that with just your creative projects. But I like to include beyond just creativity, although I think play is creativity, because I have literally done this where I'm like, "Oh, my plans got canceled..." Which I love when that happens. "I have time now. What do I want to do?" And go look at the list. "Oh, I said I wanted to make scrunchies. I should just make a couple of scrunchies."
And then that, like you said, might snowball into like, "Oh, I'm excited about this fabric. Maybe it could be incorporated into this." Or maybe I'm just listening to an audiobook while I sew. Doing a small thing on your list, having a list to reference.
Lauren: Getting it out of your brain...
Rachael: A physical list, whether it's...
Lauren: On to paper, or in a note.
Rachael: I guess in a note.
Lauren: Pinned at least.
Rachael: Top of your lists of notes, because having something to reference and take that decision paralysis out of the picture with a list is super helpful.
Lauren: This reminds me of, I know we need to wrap up, but the... Only to actually put in the show notes where the study was conducted, but a lot of people will reference this. Choice paralysis, they did a study where they put out a free sample table at a grocery store, where they gave people a couple of jams to choose from in one case, and then in the next case they did 16 different jams to choose from. And the table that had fewer options ended up resulting in more sales, because you're presented with, even if there were 16 flavors on the shelf, you were presented just with a couple and it's less of a mental load to carry when you're like, "Oh, strawberry, blackberry, blueberry. Cool."
Whereas no one's going to sample 16 jams.
Rachael: And I would feel bad asking to try each one to be sure.
Lauren: Totally.
And so to the point we were making earlier, if and when that to-do list, or even playlist, or creative wants list, whatever yours is titled, I think that it's good to take inventory if that, once in a while... The same way we go through our closets every spring or whatnot. It is good to take inventory and cross off the things that you know are no longer aligned because as we know as chaotic creatives, things can stay on that list for years, maybe even decades. And it's...
Rachael: And it's taking up energy.
Lauren: I changed so much year to year, likely the things that were on that list four or five years ago, I'm no longer interested in. Or maybe when taking inventory of that list, your now brain can look at the old idea and put your own... You're seeing it through new eyes.
Rachael: It's evolving.
Lauren: Maybe there's another way to spin it or... It's almost like past you communicating with current you, when I read through my old notes, I'm like, "Wow, 28 year old me wrote that."
Rachael: It is like the things that... Also, it's a lovely practice to look back and reflect on, because things that you thought maybe you couldn't accomplish, maybe you've done them, or things that you thought were insightful and far-reaching as far as ideas. Maybe you've implemented them, and that mindset as part of your daily practice. I think reflecting back is a lovely time. And I also think clearing stuff out of that list... When you were talking about going through and what you had as ideas 10 years ago, I have had Pinterest for 10 years, so I have a projects folder and I'm like, "I would never make this." But there's not a quick delete on Pinterest. You just go and do edit and then delete from this board. So I haven't deleted them, but I'm inspired to do that now, because I want to just clear this. I should just start fresh from Pinterest, honestly. But I have so much history there, I can't.
Lauren: Just make a new account.
Rachael: I have separate accounts.
Lauren: With our new email address.
Rachael: We could. We could have a shared Pinterest board. That would be cute.
Lauren: Oh, that would be cute.
Rachael: Oh, you can do that anyway. You can share with people.
Lauren: Oh, that's true.
Rachael: Anyway, well, on that note, anything you're excited that you're working on?
Lauren: Oh, I can talk about the bowl with the bowls. Did I reference this in the last episode? I'm not sure.
Rachael: I can't remember.
Lauren: If you're watching this in video form hopefully we can add a photo of it by the time this comes out.
I made a bowl, a giant salad bowl, in ceramics class, and I attached three little bowls to the lip of the bowl, and I was really proud of myself, because originally our ceramics teacher, Ricky, was talking about, "Try to make something that isn't functional."
Rachael: Oh, I think you did talk about this.
Lauren: My graphic design brain was like, "But I need a jumping off point." And I really wanted a salad bowl, too. So it scratched the itch of being able to make something. It was the largest thing I've ever made. And as a happy medium, instead of just having it be a salad bowl, I added the three extra bowls on the lip, which makes it less functional in a way, because you can't stack it with other things. It's more of an art piece bowl. But the functional part is like, oh, now you can put other stuff in the bowl...
Rachael: Like almonds in all three.
Lauren: Could you imagine there were almonds in the big bowl and almonds in the little bowls? My nightmare.
Rachael: Different types of seasoned almonds. "Look at the spread I made."
"Oh, she brought almonds again."
Lauren: But, I finally got around to glazing it.
Rachael: Great. I can't wait to see it.
Rachael: Hopefully I'll know what it looks like this Friday.
Lauren: Amazing.
Rachael: Your class is on Friday mornings, right?
Lauren: Oh, Friday afternoon.
Rachael: Oh, okay.
Lauren: And now as I'm saying this now, it could have exploded in the kiln, something could have happened, a tech could have dropped it. I'm excited to see what happens.
Rachael: I can't wait to see.
Lauren: What about you? Anything you're working on that you're excited about?
Rachael: I asked you this question earlier then I didn't have an answer prepared for myself. I also made some bowls in ceramics, some nesting bowls that could be... So I have really big pasta, entree-size bowls that I made, but when I make oatmeal, or yogurt, or something, I don't have anything smaller. I don't have any stack of saved yogurt cups, and I buy it in bulk at Costco, so I got to scoop it out. I'm not eating out of the massive...
Lauren: That's the move is when you have a single-person household and a Costco membership.
Rachael: Oh, yeah.
Lauren: Ultimate chaotic creative.
Rachael: Truly. The amount of stuff I buy for one person. It's not 10 pounds of almonds, so let's not, let's lump me in with you.
Lauren: Years ago you texted me and you were like, "Do you want a log of mozzarella?"
Rachael: I just brought a log of goat cheese to a birthday party because I had bought one and I was like, "I'm not going to eat this before it expires."
Lauren: I feel like there's a metaphor here about why community is also important to help share some of the load of like, "I have too much. What do you need?"
Rachael: Lovely.
So I'm excited about those bowls, and I really want to make a lamp, but I keep thinking about it and haven't started.
Lauren: I've also been thinking about a lamp. I had time this weekend to start it. I didn't do it. And it's not a ceramic lamp, it's like a papier-mâché lamp. So two and a half years ago, I bought a bunch of pendant lights, just like a socket on a long cord, with the intention to make some apparatus to then make a lamp. Never used it. And now I'm starting to think about it because I recently saw a really cute wall lamp, like a sconce, a corded sconce. And I started planning it in my mind, scrolling Pinterest, and I told myself, "Okay, now sketch it out." And then I didn't. And now it's been lingering, but I think I'm going to have to get it out this weekend.
Rachael: I feel like that is the sign that it's time to get the idea out when it's truly lingering and a lot of things are reminding you that it's time to get it out of your brain.
Lauren: It's either like you have to do it or table it.
Rachael: Completely
Lauren: Getting it out means getting it out through your hands or just getting it out there.
Rachael: Documenting the idea and moving on. Cool. Great.
Lauren: Well, in our next episode or in the future, we should film ourselves eating out of our bowls that we're talking about.
Rachael: Yes, absolutely. I'll bring all five of them and just place them on my lap.
Lauren: I'll have mine filled with almonds.
Rachael: Great. You can toss almonds at me. I'm pretty good at catching food with my mouth.
Lauren: I'm terrible at it.
Rachael: And on that note, with our very special skills, my very special skill, thanks for watching and listening. And where can people find you on the internet?
Lauren: I'm Hom Sweet Hom everywhere on the internet. It's like home, sweet home without the Es in home, because I didn't think this through when I started my business. Puns are tough. Puns can be very tough.
Rachael: So good though. It's such a good one.
Lauren: I got lucky.
Rachael: I'm Rachel Renae on the internet,
Lauren: Not spelled how you thought.
Rachael: Not spelled how you thought. R-A-C-H-A-E-L R-E-N-A-E. So we'll see you next time.
Lauren: Good luck with whatever you're working on right now.
Rachael: Woo!